I have a confession to make.
This admission will not turn a priest’s cheeks scarlet but may well make mothers cry: I haven’t ironed a shirt since November.
Yes, dear reader, this occasionally elegant, usually overdressed, red-trousered gentleman has been harbouring a murky secret. For this I bend my knee apologetically at the font of Beau Brummell and whisper my sartorial absolutions.
This sticky wicket is not a matter of being a scruff – in fact it is far from it. I wear a double-cuffed shirt with collar stiffeners. However, being slight of frame and a sunlit warming whisky being frowned upon in 2017, I feel the cold like an old dowager.
A v-neck jumper, therefore, becomes a necessity throughout the winter months.
I have a vast array of splendid woolly jumpers. Many, like me, are moth-eaten, some are vibrant and new, whilst some just exist to balance out loud trousers. A V is a lovely accompaniment to casual chinos, a blazer, a fine bedfellow to a tie or even a splash of colour underneath a grey winter suit.
My insistence on wearing a pullover does, of course, mean it is much less necessary to run the iron to be run over my shirt. A crisply ironed shirt does undeniably look far better than a crumpled cotton mess but it is folly to suggest that is more comfortable.
I am aware of the crinkled noses I am creating with the admission. Supercilious tuts from even my loyalist of readers are so loud that they can be heard by the meerkats of the Gobi desert.
Disapproval, like ex-girlfriend, only causes anguish momentarily. Moreover, I am comfortable in my non-ironed choice and what’s more one must wear a jumper to a National Hunt meet.
Like the darling buds of May the wind has changed and the sun has emerged resplendent in a panama, most probably acquired from Bates. This seasonal shift lamentably makes v-neck jumpers unnecessary – that is unless one is going for the creepy sweaty look.
Indeed, now is sadly the time of year that the iron must come out to play and the jumpers become intermittent and eventually like a mouse in the winter are hidden from sight.